Tonight was absolutely amazing! I have been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off for the past week, helping Shawna get ready for the fashion editorial that we are shooting this and next week, working part time at Moe's and keeping my fingers crossed that I am going to start this internship on the movie soon. Not to mention trying to fit in church related things, eating meals, and o yea sleep. But tonight was institute night, it gave me a chance to take a step back and breath and learn some awesomeness about the gospel. I sat down and President Shurtleff looked at me, I knew he knew something was wrong, he always does. We had the most amazing lesson about the refiner's fire (http://lds.about.com/library/weekly/aa100702a.htm).We were reading in Malachi and so many questions starting coming to my mind, in chapter 3 verse one it speaks of the savior coming to his temple, and I asked what other people believed he would come to since as far as I know LDS people (Mormons) are the only Christians who have temples. It is just another testament to me that this Gospel is so true. This line of questions lead to more about eternal families, and how most people already believe that families can be together forever, which is awesome, because if they ever are baptized into the church they will come to understand the divinity of the great sealing power and how temple sealings are necessary to assure that families will be together through the eternities. There were so many great questions that President Shurtleff dismissed most of the class and many of us stayed behind and he continued to answer questions, it brings great joy to my soul to be able to be in the presence of a man with a such great knowledge of the gospel, and who is so in tune with the spirit of God that he is permitted to receive revelation for those around him.
I asked to speak with him privately after everyone was done asking him questions, we stepped into his office and I began to tell him everything that I have been going through. I told him about how I had been back sliding and that I just am struggling to keep the spirit in my life to help guide me and protect me. I have been slacking on keeping this journal and reading my scriptures, and my prayers have just been crap the last few weeks. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and told him how much I love my heavenly Father and how I want nothing more than to return to live with him again. To feel his love, to truly feel the love of the Father would be the greatest achievement of my life. I learned so many things about myself tonight, talking to President. He is such a wise man, I talked with him about the heavens and he brought great joy to my soul when he told me that even in the lower kingdoms of heaven that there will be no guilt, that man will not feel guilty for not living his life adequately enough to go to the celestial kingdom, but that he will not feel comfortable there so he will prefer dwelling in a lesser kingdom. Our church truly teaches a God of love and of charity and of hope.
Our conversation continued for about an hour, and then he pronounced upon me a priesthood blessing. When he placed his hands upon my head, I began to weep, I felt every bit of pain and anguish and sadness just sink out of my body. It felt like this dark ooze that just leaked from every poor, and my feelings of guilt, and hate, and anger were replaced with those of love and joy. I felt the savior in the room, I felt his sweet spirit as President Shurtleff spoke of the Lord's love for me, and of his great plans for my spirit. I feel so privileged to be a part of a work as great this. The blessing brought be comfort and peace and clarity, which is exactly what I needed. I left there in tears, and President got very choked up at the end and gave me a huge hug and told me how much he cared about me, it meant so much, I have never really had a Father and I can truly say that this man stands among the few great men in my life. His counsel and guidance are amazing. I feel so relieved after receiving the counsel that I did this evening. I feel more blessed than ever and I am so thankful for everything that the Lord has given me.
How often does a major motion picture come to Columbia, and how often do I know part of the casting team? never. This opportunity to work with amazing artists is one that I will never take for granted. I am so thankful that the Lord has sent this blessing my way, and as for helping Shawna with the fashion editorial for the City Paper, I could not be happier. I love this girl, and we share so much of the same creative vision and I am so thankful that I have this opportunity to showcase my skills. I am so looking forward to tomorrow, we have the guys shoot at 2 and then in the morning we have to finish picking up all the girl's wardrobe for their shoot on Friday morning at 6am. I am just so excited about this, this is the kinda stuff I always dreamed of doing, even though I am not getting paid for my help, its part of helping someone else accomplish their dreams and in the process I am gaining experience to make mine come true and hopefully one day I will be getting paid to do this. Well I need to get to bed so I am well rested for tomorrow, its going to be a busy day. hugs, kisses, and warm fuzzies kiddos!
Shady Grady
"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." Edgar Allen Poe
Video of the Weak
bloc party. the prayer.
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